On March 1st of 2012, my mom passed away and went to be with the Lord. I have been wanting to write a post on all of my feelings, processing, thoughts, and any and everything that has come up in my heart over the last seven months. However, I think that post will take some time.
Other changes have occurred the last four months as well. We were asked to take over the role and position of directing The Navigators ministry at the University of California, San Diego. Tess lost her grandfather in New Orleans at the age 92. Our team on campus has been changing, with everyone processing and seeking the Lord on how he is leading for the future. We saw our largest senior class graduate this year, as seven of the students, who were freshmen when we met them during my first year on staff. The Holechek family has been learning a new family dynamic as we feel the weight of the absence of Mom. To say the least, there is a lot God has allowed to occur in the first half of 2012.
The summer has been the perfect time for the two of us to get a little bit of down time to spend with the Lord and get quality time together. It has been a blessing from God to have this time to rest the first week or two of summer before we start to focus on our funding for the next year and plan for our new role. God is a god of rest. I love that even He rested on the seventh day and he set apart a day of the week for us to do the same.
Over the last few months I have personally been trying to become increasingly disciplined in the area of scripture memory. This is one of the spiritual disciplines we really focus on and try to train students in. With the craziness of the last couple of years, I have to admit this is an area of my Christian life has suffered. So I have really been making a concentrated effort to intentionally “hide God's word in my heart.” One of the passages I have been memorizing and meditating on goes well with the idea of rest. It is Matthew 11:28-30 which says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus’ words here have been an immense encouragement to me and my heart. As I have looked to next year and building the ministry on campus, I have often been filled with an urgency and anxiousness, stemming from my own ambition, that has not been restful, nor Christ-focused. I have found myself at times feeling a pressure that if we don’t do “this” or get “that” in place immediately, things won’t go “perfectly.” So quickly my heart turns to my own performance and trying to do things correctly, and Jesus patiently remind me that he is in control and that I need to abide and rest in him, not lean on my own understanding or ambition. When I come to Him in my weariness and my pressured performance thinking heart, He in His humble and gentle heart takes my burdens and my weakness and instead replaces it with his gentle, gracious yoke. This has been the same in our journey of mourning the losses we have experienced; Christ gently walks with us and comforts us in our pain. This is one of the many facets of the love of Christ. His comfort in our time of need, His strength in our weakness, His grace and mercy in our manmade pressure to perform our way to “success.”
As Tess and I have felt our spiritual and emotional tanks running low it has been so important and helpful to go directly to the source of life. As another verse I have been memorizing ends with Jesus reminding us, “I have come that they may have life and life to the full.” We are simply invited to rest, and trust Him in His goodness and care for His children.
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